Writing about decision fatigue Tuesday and rehashing my early minimalism pursuits (and all that frustration) made me appreciate how far I’ve managed to come on that front in the past five years — from stewing about it all the time to really not thinking about it at all because it’s so ingrained.
There’s something to be said for reaching the auto-pilot stage.
That’s not to say it’s always easy — life in general isn’t — but that instead of worrying how minimal my house/life is (and I’m including my zero waste efforts in that, too), I’m trying to embrace where I am and just enjoy it. After all, what’s the point of all of this if the only emotion I ever feel is guilt?
What if, instead of guilt, I felt gratitude?
It’s a bit of a mind game, gratitude. I’m no psychology major, but wanting more and trying to do better seems to be a common human trait. We’re not wired to appreciate the here and now — we’re always looking into the future to the next thing.
(Well, that could just be me, for all I know, and saying it’s a human trait might be some subconscious ploy to make myself feel better. Good news: It’s working!)
Anyway, all of that is just to say that this weekend, I’m going to focus on gratitude and finding joy in the present. My brain doesn’t work like that, I’m going to be honest — that whole “waiting for the other shoe to drop” thing (it’s harder being a pessimist than you might think 😉 ). But I’m just beginning to put a few things together (because self reflection is hard and boring) and I think this is a tangible way I can dial back the guilt and the trying to achieve more and just appreciate how far I’ve come, my family, and my life in general.
(Anyone need wine with that cheese? I’m much better at writing about the concrete than the abstract, but for some reason I think I need to jot this down.)
What I’m grateful for right now:
I have both girls in my house!
I have two kittens and plenty of purrs!
Eric’s fascination with trying new recipes (we’re eating very well at the moment).
Spending evenings on the deck with my Kindle.
Mornings when I can write before doing anything else (uh, aside from getting my first cup of coffee, obviously).
Being able to meet my best friend Mara for coffee Tuesday afternoon — and the fun we had visiting Abby at work, stopping by unexpectedly at my parents, and then finally coming up to the house for a kitten break.
That my friend loves my kids like they are her own daughters.
That I’m THIS CLOSE to finishing Abby’s senior year scrapbook.
All of you guys. (Hey, if I’m going cheesy, I may as well go all in.) You are the best, and I so appreciate your comments, your support and your willingness to share your own stories. I love hearing what you’re up to.
Happy weekend, friends.