Wardrobe woes

Once upon a time, I really had a handle on my wardrobe (thanks, Project 333!). It’s been a year or so since I stopped P333 because I felt like I’d learned the lessons I needed to and, at the end of the day, it didn’t matter how many items were in my closet. I’m a minimalist. I gravitate towards minimalism.

Ha ha ha, isn’t it HILARIOUS when you get all cocky about being a genius and then the world knocks you down? Karma in action! Because:

Johanna and I hit the Goodwill in the town next door a couple of weeks ago — the weather had turned quite warm and I wanted some “spring-y” t-shirts. Johanna just enjoys thrifting in general and always finds something. The problem is that once she finds it (and buys it), she doesn’t always like it later on. This is actually called “pulling a Johanna” in our household.

My “spring-y” t-shirts ended up being burgundy, gray and a black/white patterned tank — I guess I’m not cut out for bright colors. (I saw a pink cardigan that was kind of cute and asked Jo what she thought, and she was like, That’s not even you. True, kid, thanks for the wisdom. Gray it is!) When we got home, I began organizing my closet for the warmer months. Johanna decided to go through her closet and got rid of a couple of items, one of which was a striped navy number that I decided to add to my closet instead of the rummage sale bag.

My spring t-shirt situation was really starting to look up, but my closet was getting away from me. I started running out of hangers. And I refuse to get more hangers. I have more than enough if I keep my closet to 35 or so items. Um, that ship had sailed, so I solved that problem by folding sweaters and long-sleeve t-shirts and storing those in my standing wardrobe. Not ideal because I tend to forget about what I can’t see hanging in front of my face. On the upside: It did make things look more manageable, at least.

And then Abby came home for the summer — P.S. YAY — around 6:30 p.m. last Monday. She decided she needed her room completely clean before she went to bed (she is the most organized teenager ever), which seemed to me like an impossible task, just looking at all the boxes and bags and suitcases she had strewn around the place. I was tasked with hanging up her clothing.

“I have a lot of clothes,” she said, “but I love them all.”

No judgement, kid. It’s your life and your closet. I’m just over here, hanging it all up.

As she went through her suitcases, there were a few items she decided she no longer wanted … one being a baseball-style t-shirt she got in high school that I’ve always thought was adorable. Um, so that’s now in my closet.

And then the weather went from 90 degrees F last Saturday to 65 degrees by Wednesday. So all the sweaters I had folded KonMarie-style (damn you, Netflix!) are now hanging across the bar in my closet. So I can get to them. Because I’m out of hangers.

What were the lessons I’d learned about minimalist closets again? I’ve clearly lost my wits.

Anyway, here’s my solution, and I will tell you right now that it’s lame, but it’s what I’ve settled on so whatever: When I wear an item, I turn the hanger back-to-front (putting it in backwards?) so I can see what I’m actually wearing. Of course, whatever I’m wearing out of my standing wardrobe doesn’t get the same treatment, but I’ve decided that isn’t so much of a problem because it’s not prime real estate like my closet. At the end of the month (which is coming up surprisingly quickly), I will reassess.

Um, so the moral of this story is that I’ve got a little work to do. 😉

P.P.S. Some links on my experiences with P333 (that maybe I should read myself):

HERE (Just beginning and the issues I ran into right off the bat)

HERE (Putting together a spring and summer wardrobe)

HERE (Lessons learned from my winter wardrobe)

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Plan C is the new Plan B

Oh, life.

Instead of heading to see Abby for Easter as we planned, Abby came to us. And she’s been commuting between school and home for the past two weekends. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how quickly things can change.

The day after my last post, my father-in-law had a bad fall from a ladder and the world pretty much stopped. I don’t want to go into too much detail because it’s not my story to tell, but basically, he was LifeFlighted to a Portland hospital; the family immediately gathered, Abby coming home on a night train. We knew he had a skull fracture and a brain injury. We did not know what would happen next.

He never woke up, but he gave us all time to come and say goodbye. He passed away four days later, on the eve of Easter. We held his funeral this past weekend. I took Thursday and Friday off from work and went to get Abby. Her boyfriend’s mother took her back Sunday. We’ve had such an outpouring of love and support that it’s been overwhelming. People keep asking what they can do, but the fact is there isn’t anything they CAN do except continue to give us hugs. (Words are overrated because there’s nothing to say.)

I don’t know, you guys. I’ve been so out of sorts all spring and feeling kind of … just over everything. But these events have given me a different perspective. I can get out of bed and it turns out that’s most of the battle.

Plan B is the new Plan A

Aaaaaaand the self-destructive streak continues!

My phone is telling me my screen time was up 62 percent last week, and I’m sort of shocked it wasn’t higher. Work has been a trial, and I’ve slipped back into my come home, veg on the screen routine. I gave up social media for Lent, but I downloaded a couple new mindless games for the sole purpose of wasting time. Johanna showed me how to put my phone on airplane mode so I can play the thrilling adventures of Block Games without having to deal with periodic ads. That game seriously gives me anxiety (it’s like Tetris, kinda), but I can’t stop playing.

Because I am an idiot.

Look, I’ve done the reading and the research, and I’m actually not an idiot — or, I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb, I guess. I know that after a stressful day at work, I should take a walk or a hot shower or do some yoga or grab a book. I’ve got my spring cleaning list going and know the mental lift it gives me to see sparkling light switches and decluttered cabinets.

And even at work, I know that if I take a walk break after I finish my first cup of coffee, that makes the rest of the day better. I know that if I take a lunch break instead of eating at my desk, it helps me mentally get to the end of the day. That if I turn off my email notifications, I will be able to concentrate on the task at hand.

And I am willfully choosing not to do ANY OF THAT.

I’ve kind of had it with self reflection. I’m tired of weekly goals. Unrealistic work expectations are bringing me down. (What, three and a half people can’t do the work of seven? WHAT IS THIS CRAZY TALK?)

But, for better or for worse, that’s my personality: Take too much on, like to work towards something tangible, want to be a better person, get by through sheer force of will — until my will fails and then it’s me, the couch and my phone. And freaking Block Games.

This week, I am looking forward to taking Friday off — we’re going to spend Easter with Abby and are making a long weekend out of it. I’m looking forward to the FlyLady’s “bathroom and one other room” focus because my one other room is going to be getting Abby’s ready for summer vacation, which for her starts in May. I’m looking forward to Eric’s meal planning extravaganza and the new meals he’s making that meet my dietary restrictions. I am looking forward to warmer temperatures even though it will still be cloudy and a bit rainy.

My gut is telling me not to undertake any new personal focuses or plans or whatnots, to just let this week play out the way it’s gonna play out. To give myself a break with all that. But my brain is telling me I need to figure out how I’m going to do that ahead of time so I have a better chance of success. HA HA HA. The internal war that is Trisha, my friends!

Um … so I have no idea what’s going to go down after it’s all said and done. Will my brain or my gut win?

I don’t know that this is much of a post, but here we are. Maybe I’ll have it together by the time next week rolls around.

In which KonMarie accidentally sparks a revolution in the Walker household

Last Friday, we added a Roku box to the household, because apparently our 2011 Wii is no longer able to act as a conduit between our TV and Netflix.

It’s okay, we had a good run. And the Wii still gets used by Eric and Johanna. They’re Mario Kart fiends.

Of course, we could have chosen to let Netflix go … and it’s basically my fault that we are not. It’s also my fault we have Netflix in the first place, since I’m the one who signed us up for the service many years ago, when Eric was hunting and I was left unsupervised.

It’s just that if this is the future — this tiny TV box thing — then so be it. We may not watch a lot of TV or movies, but it’s nice to have that option. Especially since we don’t have cable.

Anyway. Eric got the thing hooked up and I finished the setup part using my phone, which is now a remote. That’s probably old news to many, many people, but to me, it was like, what is this crazy Jetsons future?! I’m scrolling through Netflix options and before I even knew what was happening, we were watching “Tiding Up with Marie Kondo.”

Three episodes worth. And then I finished the series Sunday afternoon.

Eric thought it was boring and Johanna had no interest, so it was just me and the kittens. I mean, it was kind of boring, but I liked how the people featured were from all different backgrounds and places in their lives, and went through the same lessons regarding their stuff: What it says about them and the meaning they place on physical items. And how to get past the attachment.

And I liked Marie’s perspective, so different from the American way of looking at stuff. (Like, actual stuff: Houses and possessions and whatnot.) I liked her focus on keeping what brought joy to a person and working towards a desired future. I haven’t read her book, but I’d made all kinds of assumptions about the KonMarie method based on what I’ve heard about it. Turns out my assumptions were completely wrong.

I found her take refreshing. I can see why so many people swear by her method. It just seems so doable.

Saturday morning, I found Eric rattling around the laundry room making a huge racket. He had cleaned off  the top of the standing freezer and was sorting through items. The gist: He’d heard enough of the third episode, where the mom was responsible for everything in the house and how stressful that was for her, and he’d decided he could take on some of that stuff so I wouldn’t be saddled with it.

I am pro that plan.

And then he moved on to our recycling closet. I let go of some jars I’ve been saving. He sorted out a bunch of stuff that had gotten shoved there for no apparent reason. It was awesome.

That day, I noticed Johanna making several trips back and forth between her room and ours. She was in deep cleanout mode, making piles in my reading retreat (aka the room where everything gets dumped when we don’t know what to do with it): Books, shoes, clothes, random bits and pieces she’d collected. She also filled the recycle bin with old papers.

I guess she got KonMarie-d through osmosis. Not complaining. I can actually walk in there now without tripping over anything. Her closet looks more manageable and her shelves have room to breathe. I’m so proud! This kid is my hoarder; she doesn’t need new stuff, but wow, she sure hangs on to what she does have.

I guess the moral of this story is that even seasoned minimalists can learn new tricks. And those two sorting items gave me enough of a boost to get into my reading retreat and start packaging up items for donation.

My reading retreat is its own challenge … and I’ve never managed to get a handle on it in the 16 years we’ve lived here. I don’t use it as a reading area, that’s why, so it’s become a sort of closet instead. Maybe I need to just embrace that. Regardless, it could use a good cleanout. Again.

Yes, my internet friends, I have my decluttering challenges too. But that’s another post for another time. 😉

TW, minimalist

I was at the dentist sort of accidentally on Thursday (my appointment got moved up a few days) and minding my own business in the chair (after having to come clean to a new hygienist that I don’t floss AND always throw a fit when it’s time for x-rays because gag; she said she already knew that because it’s in my file), when my dentist breezed in and was like, as a way of introduction to this new woman, “Did Trish tell you she’s a minimalist?”

And I was like, well, I can’t actually respond to that because, you know, mouth stuff going on.

I was also kind of like, oh yeah. Yeah, I am a minimalist, huh?

Minimalism isn’t something I have to work towards or think about anymore. It just is how I live my life. I don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy. Actually, I think I could make a good argument that I am happier without stuff than I ever was with it. I don’t miss what I’ve given away and I certainly don’t miss what I don’t bring home.

I feel like the minimalism movement has really come to the forefront in the last few years, which mainstreams it a bit. But it’s still kind of weird to some people, I guess. Or maybe “weird” isn’t the right word. “Different,” perhaps.

(Um, I don’t see this current trend of purging and organizing items as true minimalism, incidentally, although I’m cool with everyone doing what they need to do. Nothing wrong with getting rid of what you don’t need.)

Anyway, I had a minimalist/zero waste win on the way out of the dentist office: The hygienist asked me if I wanted a toothbrush and floss, instead of just putting it into a bag and ignoring my refusals like the last one did. (Awkward.) I said no, and that was that. Although she did tell me that not flossing was “not ideal” and encouraged me to look for some kind of natural alternative, even if that “was more to throw away.”

I’m not sure what all is in my file, but I have never felt so understood.

P.S. Yeah, I know I need to floss. It’s more that it’s, like, 10 whole minutes a week that I don’t want to spend, actually, then a zero waste stance, to be honest.

Family gathering

I’m sitting by the woodstove in a rocking chair with Frieda my laptop this evening. The living room is littered with sleeping kittens. It’s COLD and rainy outside, but inside is rather pleasant. It feels nice to be so content.

This past weekend was the annual Walker family gathering. I’ve written about this before many times, which isn’t surprising, I guess, since this year was our 22nd. Basically: Instead of getting together and exchanging gifts for Christmas, we rent a house and hang out over the long Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend. It is AWESOME. I’ve always thought this was rather genius, even before we became minimalists, because it’s experiences, not things — and my girls have such fun memories of time with their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins … and now their cousins’ spouses/significant others and kids.

Anyway: A house at the coast (on a lake, I think that’s hilarious for some reason) stuffed with 24 people (we were down four this year, including Abby), lots of chat and games and running around. I highly recommend it.  And props to Johanna for being on kid duty all weekend. Four boys under the age of 6! I’m sure you can imagine what THAT is like. (Hint: Loud.)

Before we left, I made myself a few dinners because I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat what was served to the group. And that worked out just swell, as Johanna would say — because I had something available, I wasn’t even tempted to eat any of the good stuff around me (cookies, sure, but also just the delight that is taco soup or a potato bar). Which is probably why I feel fairly decent at the moment.

Maybe I can be taught?

I also brought along my beloved breakfast granola. I’ve had to modify it since I first wrote about it on the Simple Year (swirl around 10 dried pitted dates, 10 dried pitted apricots, a generous shaking of cranberries  and a handful of walnuts in the food processor; add a couple handfuls of oats and a couple heaping spoonsful of sunflower seed butter, swirl around again until it looks like something you could call granola), but it’s kept me alive for literally three years, so … amazing.

And I don’t know, but it was sort of relaxing to just mess around all weekend and do nothing productive. I didn’t even read. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Books this year

I regret posting a partial list of the books I’d read through May 22 HERE, just because now it seems a little anticlimactic. Although no I don’t because I was really excited to share what I’d read.

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

One of my goals this year was to never be without a book, and I mostly succeeded. I only read two all of December because I was waiting for the eLibrary to come through and I went through a dry spell in February for reasons I no longer remember. I used to write down all titles I’d read on a bookmark and move it from book to book, but now I keep a running list in my journal. I read one “real” book all year (Abby’s copy of “Dreams from my Father”) and the rest were on my Kindle. Kinda hard to go the ol’ bookmark route with that routine solidly in place.

(And I know, real books are great. My girls and Eric are real book fans and we do our part for the local bookstore. I just prefer my Kindle — I like having my entire collection in my backpack. It’s one of my anxiety coping methods, so …)

Anyway, here’s the first half of my book list, to review:

  • A Torch Against the Night by Sabaa Tahir (second in a series of three and fantastic)
  • Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham (entertaining)
  • Songs for a Teenage Nomad by Kim Culbertson (reread; heartbreaking and wonderful)
  • Renegades by Marissa Meyer (love this author)
  • Heartless by Marissa Meyer
  • Dreams from my Father by Barack Obama (eye-opening!)
  • All Those Things We Never Said by Mark Levy (don’t bother)
  • Wolf by Wolf and Blood by Blood by Ryan Graudin (SO GOOD)
  • The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (wonderful, one of the best all year)
  • Iron by Iron by Ryan Graudin (novella, also great)
  • Cinder and Scarlet and Cress and Winter, all by Marissa Meyer (rereads, totally entertaining)
  • Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (loved)
  • The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan (cute)
  • Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (amazing)

Since May 22, I’ve read:

  • Fan Girl by Rainbow Rowell
  • Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (both rereads, two favorites of mine)
  • Persuasion by Jane Austen (lost count how many times I’ve read this one. It’s my favorite Austen)
  • The Fates Divide by Veronica Ross (Carve the Mark II; even better than the first one)
  • Dreams of Running by Mara Fields (my best friend in high school, really great — she tackles ALL the issues)
  • A Reaper at the Gate by Sabaa Tahir (An Ember in the Ashes series)
  • The Wrath and the Dawn, and The Rose and the Dagger by Renee Ahdieh (both were really great)
  • The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (wasn’t sure I’d like this one at first but found it entertaining enough)
  • The Leavers by Lisa Ko (seriously great)
  • One of Us is Lying by Karen McManus (also seriously great)
  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG? This book was amazing; Abby recommendation)
  • The Paper Magician by Charlie Holmberg (don’t bother)
  • Harry Potter — the entire series (rereads, still in love)
  • Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (so great)
  • Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard (nope)
  • Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas (Throne of Glass IIV; I’ve put COUNTLESS hours into this series so I was damn well gonna finish it!)
  • Archenemies by Marissa Mayer (Renegades II; great)
  • Eleanor Oliphant is Perfectly Fine by Gail Honeyman (one of my favorites this year)
  • A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (another favorite and an Abby recommendation)

It turns out that I read 44 books this year, and while I’d kind of like to crank another one out before the year ends to make it an even (odd?) 45 so my OCD calms down, I’m going to take a breath and let it go. And P.S., I was going to keep track of pages read, but it turns out I don’t care. I’m more interested in the stories.

Most of these were checked out from our county’s eLibrary. A few I enjoyed so much that I purchased them AND any subsequent sequels. I’ve also learned that the books available on Amazon Prime are lacking as far as I’m concerned.

I’ve got a new list of books I’d like to read in 2019. I looked up best book lists on Goodreads and fell into a couple of “best book” articles (one from Time Magazine, I think?). I’ve got more nonfiction on my list for the coming year; we’ll see how I do with that. My whole life is nonfiction, so I prefer the break that comes from reading fiction.

What were the best books you read this year? I got a little space still on my 2019 list. 😉